CLOSED | Best One Liner Jokes | Free Joke Contest | $30

Posted:16.05.2009, 09:48

A GUY PICKED UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, AND WENT TO THE COUNTER AND ASKED WHERE THE FITTING ROOM WAS

Posted:16.05.2009, 11:30

1. Why are women like parking spaces ?

Because all the best ones are taken....and the rest are handicapped.

2. A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk,
"I would like to see a bikini that fits me."
Clerk, "me too..."

3. WHICH DO YOU THINK WOULD TOUCH THE GROUND FIRST ON TOP OF A BUILDING FIRST?-THERES A BLONDE OR A JEW.
"A jew because the blonde has to stop and ask for directions.

4. Why did the blonde get on the roof of the bar??

She heard drinks were on the house

5. Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers once a month?

Because it says right on the box, "good for up to 20 pounds."

6. What did the blonde say when she found she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"

Posted:17.05.2009, 15:40

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better

Posted:17.05.2009, 15:42

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

Posted:17.05.2009, 17:03

4 potatoes

Q: If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute?

A: The one that's labeled "IDAHO"

Posted:17.05.2009, 17:59

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

Posted:17.05.2009, 21:00

*Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

A: 1 U.S. leader

*If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

*If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

*Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?

A: B-52... F-16... B-1... F-18... B-2

*A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex?

His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone

*Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?

A. Very large hands.

**Moderator**

FUNNY!!!

Posted:18.05.2009, 20:08

was there a winner declared?

**Moderator**

Posted:18.05.2009, 21:04

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Posted:18.05.2009, 21:07

How do you confuse an archaeologist?

Give 'em a used tampon and ask which period it's from.

hope this doesn't offend anyone I thought it was funny

**Moderator**

All the jokes were great! Congrats to our winner> slamdoggie

Posted:19.05.2009, 09:49

woohoo thanx so very much

Posted:19.05.2009, 10:10

CONGRATS SLAM !!!! GL With Your WINNINGS !!!