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| CLOSED April Fools Day Contest | Free Contest | 1 Day only |
Joined: 11 Mar 2006
Posts: 101688
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Location: Gambleville
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| (No subject) |
Joined: 20 Jul 2006
Posts: 422
Likes: 5
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well this sounds like fun.
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| (No subject) |
Joined: 11 Mar 2006
Posts: 101688
Likes: 47033
Location: Gambleville
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| (No subject) |
Joined: 20 Jul 2006
Posts: 422
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three men of different nationalitie walk into a bar. each order a glass of scotch each glass has a fly in it.
the englishman pushes his glass aside with his nose in the air and demands a new drink.
the scottishman picks the fly out and drinks.
the irishman grabs the fly out and yells "spit it out you little bugger'
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| (No subject) |
Age: 48
Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Posts: 439
Likes: 175
Location: Midland, TX
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The Morning after the Office Party.
Jack woke up with a killer hangover after attending his firm's Office Party.
He didn't even remember how he got home. It's 8.30. What day is it?
Thursday. His wife must have gone to work.
As he struggled into consciousness through the fog of a pounding
headache, his stomach plummeted as he wondered what the hell he did
last night
He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a
couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And,
next to them, a little vase of sweet peas, freshly picked from the
garden.
He sat up. The bedroom was clean and tidy, - there was no trail of
drunkenly abandoned clothes, fresh air was coming in through the
window and all was serene. He stumbled to the bathroom, also
pristine, and, squinting gingerly into the mirror, saw that he had a
black eye. This was not a good sign, but no memories were returning.
As he concentrated hard on getting the world into focus, he saw a
post-it note stuck on the corner of the mirror. It was written in
red, with little hearts on it and a kiss from his wife.
'I'll ring your office and tell them you won't be in today. Breakfast
is in the oven. Try to eat something and go back to bed for the
morning.
There's snooker on TV this afternoon. Take it easy today. Hope your
eye doesn't hurt too much. See you tonight. I love you, darling!
Love,
Jillian. x '
He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the newspaper. His teenaged son was sitting
at the table, eating.
Jack, bracing himself, asked his son what happened the previous night.
'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You
fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the
hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. '
Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect
order: Asprins by the bed, a nice note from Mum and breakfast waiting
for me?'
His son replied, 'Oh that... Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when
she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone,
I'm married!'
Broken Coffee Table $250
Hot Breakfast $3.50
Two Aspirins $0.20
Saying the right thing, at the right time......PRICELESS
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| (No subject) |
Age: 76
Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 1601
Likes: 1796
Location: Texas
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| (No subject) |
Age: 73
Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 51
Likes: 13
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 One Sunday:
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers>
A State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH.
He thinks to himself:
"This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"
So he turns on hislights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies:
Two in the front seat and three in the back - wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand.
I was doing exactly the speed limit!
I always go exactly the speed limit.
What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies: "You weren't speeding
But you should know that driving slower than the speed limit
Can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly!
Twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to he:
That "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go: Ma'am, I have to ask . . . Is everyone in this car OK?
These women seem awfully shaken.
And they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time" the officer asks with concern.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."
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| (No subject) |
Age: 59
Joined: 08 Aug 2006
Posts: 433
Likes: 93
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Un estropier se promène avec son copain qui bégaye.
Celui qui bégaye dit:"si si si tu tu tu mar mar marchais avec avec un un un pied pied pied sur sur sur le trot trot trottoir on on on ne ne verrais verrais pas pas que que tu tu boites boites boites."
L'estropier lui répond:
"et si toi tu fermais ta gueule on n'entendrais pas que tu bégayes" 
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Age: 44
Joined: 06 Feb 2009
Posts: 95
Likes: 0
Location: belgium
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qu est ce qui est rouge , humide et qui sent la moule ???
le bonnet du commandent cousteau
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Joined: 06 Mar 2009
Posts: 3806
Likes: 4242
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My favorite quote from "The Simpsons":
"Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now Quiet! They are about to announce the lottery numbers." ~Homer Simpson
Hope everyone has a fun April Fool's Day!! 
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| (No subject) |
Joined: 11 Mar 2006
Posts: 101688
Likes: 47033
Location: Gambleville
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VIDtPOCH, vous avatar est drole!!!
_________________
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Age: 51
Joined: 06 Jan 2009
Posts: 442
Likes: 17
Location: gambletown
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Happy April fools day...
_________________
maybe this time, I will hit the jackpot
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| (No subject) |
Joined: 03 May 2006
Posts: 5577
Likes: 4211
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If you've ever worked for a boss that reacts before
getting the facts and thinking things through, you
will love this!
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a
shakeup, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of
all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy
leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.
The room was full of workers and
he wanted to let them know that he meant business.
He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and
asked, 'How much money do you make a week?'
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and
replied, 'I make $400 a week. Why?'
The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and
screamed, 'Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT
And don't come back.'
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked
around the room and asked,
'Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did
here? '
From across the room came a voice, 'He's the pizza delivery guy
from Domino's.
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| (No subject) |
Joined: 25 Aug 2007
Posts: 15
Likes: 0
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coucou,
voici mon histoire:
Le 1er avril, Toto court vers sa mère et dit :
- Papa s'est pendu dans le grenier !
Alors la mère monte au grenier, mais il n'y a personne.
Toto s'exclame alors :
- Poisson d'avril ! C'était dans la cave !
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| (No subject) |
Age: 42
Joined: 18 Dec 2008
Posts: 1241
Likes: 108
Location: Kansas
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"something funny" LOL!!
Have a Great Day Everyone!
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