Quickie #5 LOL/MDR~ 4X$5 Winners Announced~ ContestClosed

Posted:31.08.2006, 08:13

can we put more then one post ??

Posted:31.08.2006, 08:43

funny???

yes,,, maybe,,, no,,, ?????

lollllll

Posted:31.08.2006, 08:44

can that be posted??

and this lmaooo

Posted:31.08.2006, 08:57

I didn't know my dog's picture is out here on the web !!
His name is Tick........

Posted:31.08.2006, 09:38

Daddy Longlegs

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.He smiled
as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears
formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of
nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to
her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed
she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.

"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question
he replied, "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then
took her foot and stomped them flat, saying "Well, we're not having
any of that Brokeback mountain sh*t in our garden."

Posted:31.08.2006, 19:25

A wife is helping her husband set up his new computer.
After several minutes, the computer is almost ready to go.
It asks for a password.
The wife explains that the password should be something that he can remember, and that no one else would guess.

So, after thinking a few minutes the Husband smiles and winks at his wife and begins typing in his password. Calling out each letter as he types it.

P*E*N*I*S He presses enter.

The computer beeps, and the wife falls out of her chair laughing.
There on the screen is a blinking message.

PASSWORD INVALID.....
NOT LONG ENOUGH

Posted:31.08.2006, 19:32

Stella Awards

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The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who
spilled hot
coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That case
inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous,
successful
lawsuits in the United States.

Here are this year's winners:

7 th Place:

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of
her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler
was Ms.
Robertson's son.

6 th Place :

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses
when
his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
apparently
didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was
trying
to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5 th Place :

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage
door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.

He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house
and
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and
Mr.
Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted
on a
case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food.

He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him
undue
mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000. In my opinion
this
is so outrageous that it should have been 2nd Place!

4th Place:

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and
medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award
was
less than originally sought, because the jury felt the dog might have
been
just a little provoked at the time, by Mr. Williams who had climbed
over the
fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a
night
club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
the
floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while
Ms.Walton was
trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the
$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place:

This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor
home.
On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto
the
freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
drivers
seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich.

Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual
that
she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a
new
motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of
this
suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

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**Moderator**

codyman, That is the most ridiculous thing i have ever read>>
I am speechless.. it is soooooo sad its funny

Posted:31.08.2006, 21:13

i got one for you all

yesterday on the way home from school my younger son began to tell me a story
he said there once was an alien who came to earth and went to a military base and learned to say YES SIR YES SIR then he went to a resturant and learned to say FORKS AND KNIVES FORKS then he when to the candy store and learned to say
GOODY GOODY GUMDROPS GOODY GOODY GUMDROP then the police asked the alien did you kill this guy, and the alien said YES SIR YES SIR, the police said HOW did you do it
the alien said FORKS AND KNIVES FORKS AND KNIVES, the police said ok you are going to jail the alien said GOODY GOODY GUMDROPS GOODY GOODY GUMDROPS
I busted up laughing in the car

Posted:02.09.2006, 05:51

Well, my girl friend she was going to do a little sexy dance for her man, she practiced and got all dressed up and wore really high high heels, did I mention she is very tall? Anyways, she struts her bad self into the room and she got about 2 steps in there, when the ceiling fan whapped her right in the forehead and knocked her clear across the room up against the closet doors, she was so embarrased when it happened. Now we tease her about it and get a good laugh when she tells the story over and again.

**Moderator**

CONGRATS WINNERS

This contest was too
funny to pick 1 winner>>>

$5: amrita5000
$5: caterri
$5: timmsa
$5: codyman
Winners check your messages
for your prize

CONTEST CLOSED

Posted:02.09.2006, 08:16

$5: amrita5000
$5: caterri
$5: timmsa
$5: codyman
wtg winners win big

Posted:02.09.2006, 08:17

thanks for the quickie lol!!!!!

Posted:02.09.2006, 08:36

thanks for the code