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Age: 57 Joined: 28 Apr 2010 Posts: 16182 Likes: 20446 Location: Reno,Nevada 4794623.00 NLN Dollars
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Two men were at the Casino and were just leaving to go home at 3:00 a.m.
The first man says “You know what I hate about this? When I go home. I turn off my headlights, turn off the engine, and coast into the driveway. Then I go to the front door, take off my shoes and sneak in as quietly as I can. But my wife always wakes up and we end up having a fight.”
The second man says “What I do instead is drive into the driveway, honk the horn a few times, get out of the car, slam the door, go in the house and slam the door. Then I yell "Honey, I'm home," run upstairs, slap her on the bum and say, "How about a little love, woman?"
"She never even moves!"
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Age: 47 Joined: 16 Aug 2006 Posts: 11456 Likes: 13997 8342113.00 NLN Dollars
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Age: 65 Joined: 11 Aug 2006 Posts: 2616 Likes: 3189 34128539.40 NLN Dollars
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Why did the toliet paper not cross the road? Because it got stuck in the crack. lol
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Joined: 01 Feb 2016 Posts: 5719 Likes: 7290 14602684.50 NLN Dollars
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Age: 52 Joined: 09 Jun 2018 Posts: 8076 Likes: 10601 Location: Georgia 1344408.00 NLN Dollars
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My sister finally had her baby today.
I knew she had it in her!
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Age: 57 Joined: 28 Apr 2010 Posts: 16182 Likes: 20446 Location: Reno,Nevada 4794623.00 NLN Dollars
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I’m That Man
Ned was down on his luck in Las Vegas. He had gambled away all his money and had to borrow a dime from another gambler just to use the men's room. The stall happened to be open, so he used the dime in a slot machine and hit the jackpot. He took his winnings and went to the blackjack table and turned his small winnings into ten million dollars.
Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Ned went on the lecture circuit, where he told his incredible story. He told his audiences that he was eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever found the man he would share his fortune with him. After months of lectures, a man in the audience jumped up and said, "I'm that man. I was the one who gave you the dime."
"You're not the one I'm looking for. I'm looking for the guy who left the door open!"
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Joined: 13 Oct 2016 Posts: 13769 Likes: 15524 Location: manila 3324302.60 NLN Dollars
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Joined: 10 Dec 2018 Posts: 4054 Likes: 4639 553670.00 NLN Dollars
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Age: 52 Joined: 09 Jun 2018 Posts: 8076 Likes: 10601 Location: Georgia 1344408.00 NLN Dollars
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Age: 57 Joined: 28 Apr 2010 Posts: 16182 Likes: 20446 Location: Reno,Nevada 4794623.00 NLN Dollars
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WHAT DID THE THE FISH SAY WHEN IT HIT THE WALL?
DAM
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Joined: 01 Feb 2016 Posts: 5719 Likes: 7290 14602684.50 NLN Dollars
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Joined: 13 Oct 2016 Posts: 13769 Likes: 15524 Location: manila 3324302.60 NLN Dollars
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Age: 47 Joined: 16 Aug 2006 Posts: 11456 Likes: 13997 8342113.00 NLN Dollars
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Age: 52 Joined: 09 Jun 2018 Posts: 8076 Likes: 10601 Location: Georgia 1344408.00 NLN Dollars
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I asked my son to put ketchup on the shopping list.
Now I can't read anything on it...
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Joined: 10 Dec 2018 Posts: 4054 Likes: 4639 553670.00 NLN Dollars
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